A BC relationship coach who admitted assaulting his then-partner on two occasions is set to walk away without a criminal record after receiving a sentence the victim describes as a “complete failure” for the justice system. Former chiropractor Nima Rahmany pleaded guilty in Vancouver provincial court last month to two counts of assault and received a one-year conditional discharge, telling the court his violence was the result of “triggering” his victim, Amanda Kroetsch. Sentencing, Judge Helen Gordon said Rahmani was remorseful with a “very deep understanding” of why he carried out the attacks. The conditional discharge means that if Rahmany remains calm and of good behavior for the next 12 months, no convictions will be entered on his record. For Kroetsch, the proposal felt like a slap in the face. “I was pressured. I was coached to manage my expectations, but I wasn’t prepared to end up with no criminal record, like it never happened,” she told CBC News. “I don’t really have words to describe the highlight of this whole experience, other than it was a complete and utter failure.” Rahmany had been charged with assaulting Kroetsch in five separate incidents over nearly two years, including one charge of assault causing bodily harm, but the remaining charges were dropped when he pleaded guilty. Legal experts and domestic violence advocates who reviewed a transcript of the sentencing hearing and sentencing decision say there are reasons for concern about how the legal system deals with domestic violence. This includes Rahmany’s statements in court rationalizing his violence and the judge’s assessments of his character and remorse. Angela Marie MacDougall, executive director of Battered Women’s Support Services, said she was disturbed to see the judge apparently accept Rahmany’s explanation that she was “triggered.” “It’s amazing, actually, to see that this judge would agree that there would be any justification for the violence,” MacDougall said. “It just gives us pause over and over again to what extent the legal system can be helpful to any victim.” Amanda Kroetsch says she has suffered permanent psychological, physical and financial damage as a result of her abusive relationship with Nima Rahmany. (Submitted by Amanda Kroetsch) Haley Hrymak, research and community outreach attorney at Rise Women’s Legal Centre, said abusers often try to “pay off” the blame for their violence by shifting the blame onto the victim. “I understand from his statement that he believes his two physical attacks on the victim were at least partly her fault. That is not remorse and we certainly do not want a legal system that validates this kind of sexist logic,” she said in a e-mail. But Hrymak also noted that conditional discharges are common in cases where the offender pleads guilty and has no prior record.
Hacker Claims ‘All My Charges Have Been Dropped’
Rahmany, who once promoted himself as “rap’s chiropractor,” resigned his chiropractic license last year while the police investigation was ongoing. According to his website, he now coaches “people stuck in toxic relationships.” Unlike chiropractors, life coaches are not regulated in BC, so it no longer has a professional college to consider disciplinary action. He declined to be interviewed for this story, saying it would not be appropriate while he and Kroetsch are involved in family court proceedings. However, he has referred to the criminal proceedings in posts on social media, saying, incorrectly, that “all my charges were dropped today”. He entered his guilty pleas as “[taking] ownership for my part in a dynamic Trauma Bond from which I am still trying to break free.” According to court records, the first assault Rahmani pleaded guilty to occurred on June 15, 2017, when he pushed Kroetz with both hands, causing her to fall and hit her head on a piece of furniture. The second was on March 11, 2018, when he grabbed Kroetsch, threw her to the floor and hit her on the side of the head. Nima Rahmany gave up his registration as a chiropractor in 2021 while under police investigation into domestic violence. He used to call himself a “chiropractor” but now offers life and relationship coaching. (Nima Rahmany/Facebook) In a tearful recorded victim impact statement played for the court that has been released, Kroetsch described the lasting effects of the attacks, including complex post-traumatic stress disorder, suicidal thoughts, insomnia and an inability to do basic tasks like washing clothes and driving. . “I don’t recognize and know myself or the life I’m living now and I’m not sure I’ll ever get my life or me back,” Kroetsch told the court. But because Rahmany’s charge of assault causing bodily harm was upheld, Kroetsch said she could not tell the judge about the brain injury she allegedly suffered as a result of the attacks, a circumstance that made her “furious.”
“Not bad things”
Kroetsch said she met Rahmany through their mutual admiration for John Demartini, an American public speaker featured in the self-help film The Secret, who espouses the pseudoscientific theory that positive thinking attracts positive things. Demartini teaches that even the most negative actions and events have an equal share of advantages and disadvantages. “They teach us that there are no bad things,” Kroetsch said. “There’s no exception to the rule, whether it’s a broken toe or rape.” She has since left that world behind, but during their roughly four-year relationship, Kroetsch and Rahmany ran a business together, guiding customers through Demartini’s philosophy. She said that when the violence started early in the relationship, her beliefs taught her that she was somehow attracting the abuse. After each attack, she and Rahmani “did the work” to determine why it happened and how they could be grateful, she said. It was only after he reported the attacks to a friend outside the subculture and heard her shocked reaction that Kroetsch decided to go to the police.
The court hearing was “heartbreaking”, says the victim
Rahmany pleaded guilty before the trial, so the sentencing hearing was Kroetsch’s only real chance to hear the attacks in court. He attended the hearing via video and said he kept waiting for the judge to ask Rahmany how he had taken responsibility for his actions or tried to make amends to his victim, but it never happened. “It was heartbreaking, actually,” he said. When asked why he attacked Kroetsch, Rahmany said it was because of “toxic shame” and that he caused his “childish injury” by starting arguments. “It triggered me saying that people are talking about you. And the biggest trigger was, oh, what are people going to think of me? It was this little toxic dance that we both did, like Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, very similar,” he said, according to the transcript. Judge Helen Gordon replied: “Okay, I understand.” Earlier in the hearing, Gordon noted that Rahmani had attended anger management sessions in April and May 2018, which he described as “excellent” and an indication of how upset he was about his actions. Gordon did not mention that Rahmany was also charged with assaulting Kroetsch after completing anger management in December 2018. That charge was upheld due to his plea agreement. Gordon also praised Rahmani’s educational background and his family, describing them as former refugees who “seem to love Canada for sure” and noting that they belong to the Baha’i religion, which he called a “faith of peace.” MacDougall of Battered Women’s Support Services said she was impressed by the many assumptions the judge made about Rahmany’s character based on his family and education. “Those cases then became reasons that formed the basis … for giving a much, much reduced sentence,” McDougall said. Kroetsch says going through the criminal justice system for the domestic violence case has only delayed her healing. (Submitted by Amanda Kroetsch) Kroetsch wrote to the Crown attorney to appeal the sentence, but her request was denied. The result left her wondering if it was even worth reporting the attacks at all. She said she believes it’s important to file police reports to contribute to accurate domestic violence statistics, but she’s not sure if she would advise someone in her situation to do the same. “Being involved in the criminal justice system and doing what I thought was right delayed my healing by years,” she said. “If your main focus is getting back on your feet, it’s a complete waste of time. Not just a waste of time—it’s really damaging.”
